What the Relationship/Love “Experts” would say: Don’t meet, fall in love, then marry a co-worker!
About twenty-eight years ago, I met this guy at work. Yes, you read correctly, AT WORK. We began dating, fell in love and married a little over a year later. We had three beautiful babies, now handsome young men. He and I made a wonderful life for our family and have sixteen years of memories to show for it. Although we are no longer married, we remain a very important part of each others’ lives. The love and respect we share will never go away.
After three years of being separated, we eventually got a divorce. Again, you read it right! Although we both agreed we would eventually divorce, neither felt the need to rush. The reason for moving in different directions with our lives was mutual. Rest assured, the Love was genuine. And we put much effort into keeping our children’s need first and foremost.
Just as we were in no hurry to dissolve the marriage, I was in no hurry to jump back into the dating scene! I had recently gone back to school full-time to change my career and a mom of three very active boys. Basically, had forgotten how to “flirt”, not that I was all that great at it in the past.
“Just Do It” as the saying goes.
Finally, this shy, Midwestern girl decided to test the waters in the dating world. How was I going to accomplish this task? When I met the man I would marry, I simply took a promotion and reported to work.
I was a Dental Assistant working at a one doctor practice. The Dentist was the only man in the practice and very happily married. Fraternizing with patients is frowned upon. I was not going to meet someone at work.
I had joined Facebook, much to my youngest son’s dismay. For some unknown reason to me, Mom’s weren’t suppose to join. The day I was setting up my “Page”, he walked behind me. Under his breath, I heard him say, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” My how times have changed, now I am cool!
At that time, Facebook had it’s own version of a dating website. A profile popped up, you could select “Like” or “Dislike”. It seemed harmless and intriguing, I decided to check things out. Nothing really became of this as far as my quest to find love. I did meet some new people on the site and actually one face-to-face. A few are still my friends.
What my Mother did say: ” Teresa Ann, that is so dangerous!”
I explored other dating sites such as e-Harmony, Match, etc. Yahoo had one, similar to Facebook’s. It was not complicated, seemed safe, it was free and there was not twenty pages of questions to complete.
Had a few encounters with Yahoo. This online dating thing wasn’t so bad after all. I had heard a some good comments about the dating site, Plenty Of Fish. It had a catchy name and a couple friends and relatives recommended it to me. “Let’s give it a shot”, I decided.
My mother tried to tell me this was a bad idea. I assured her, I would not meet anyone I thought might be creepy. Online, I could just block them and hit delete. In real life, not so much.
I did and began getting messages from guys in my area. Went on a couple dates, none all that great. I got discouraged and didn’t visit the site for a few weeks. It was Monday, my day off, I felt the need to try again.
I logged onto Plenty Of Fish, like always the thumbnail photos appeared at the top of the page above my actual matches. One particularly caught my eye. It was a simple “head and shoulder” shot of a handsome guy. This image stood out because he was wearing a Washington State University shirt. It just so happens, my oldest son was attending WSU at the time. My youngest son followed suit a few years later.
What in the world came over me that day?
This man’s profile and mine were not a match, according to the Plenty Of Fish site, but I chose to read his anyway. As I read along, I saw he didn’t live far away, we both loved football and participated in Fantasy Football, and being in the same area for most of his life, he was a Newport High School Alumni. All three of my boys graduated from Newport High School! And as it turns out, my youngest is now a Senior at Washington State University.
Not my normal self that day and feeling bold, I took the initiative to send the first message. He responded instantly, much to my surprise. After a couple exchanging of messages, he offered his phone number and told me to call if I wanted. I responded offering my number, explaining my shyness. I wasn’t feeling that bold!
We talked and decided to meet the following Saturday, October 2, 2009. We met and hit it off instantly. As of today, we are just about three weeks from celebrating our seven year anniversary. We have not been without our relationship ups and downs, but I truly met my Soul-Mate. We think alike on so many levels, yet different enough to keep things exciting. He is as much of and extrovert as I am an introvert, he loves coconut and I hate it, I love mushrooms and he thinks they are disgusting. And, we love each other deeply.
There are so many options these days!
Seven years have gone by since I met my significant other. Online dating has definitely taken off. Out of curiosity, a few days ago, I went online to check out the options available. I was amazed at the number and how it seems as if there should be something out there for all walks of life. You will find websites catered to women. For example, one that stood out as “safe” was CommitmentConnection.com.
CommitmentConnection offers resources for women to possibly look at the whole dating scene in a different light. At any age dating can sometimes seem like a job. Even more so if it is later in life, as priorities may have shifted a bit from years before. As I did not sign-up, I’m taken. I did browse a bit. I believe for those of you needing a little encouragement or know “it’s not just you”, you just might want to check them out.
What do I have to say? Don’t pass up a good thing when it stares you in the face.
We can’t always follow a well thought plan on how we meet those we fall in love with. Sometime life just happens. When it happens, I think you go for it and see where it takes you. I have always been a hopeless romantic. I love hearing exciting and out of the ordinary stories. If you have one and would care to share, feel free to use the comment section below, the other readers and I will keep your secret!